


Trainwrecks

by regionals



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Famous Josh, Fluff, Influencer Tyler, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Makeup artist Tyler, TOPBigBang2019, Youtube AU, Youtuber Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/pseuds/regionals
Summary: Tyler’s bold and careless and not expecting an answer, which is the only reason he has the guts to send Josh Dun, a living, breathing, internet legend (maybe that’s overselling it a little) a direct message on Twitter, asking him why he’s so thick, with two c’s.





	Trainwrecks

**Author's Note:**

> i had a youtube au that i kept on wattpad because it wasn’t good enough (in my eyes) for me to want to post it on ao3, but i abandoned it and yadda yadda basically i’m here now with, like, a revamped version of that au i guess? this is very self indulgent? this is also my big bang fic.
> 
> also not to, like, be the bearer of bad news or anything but i think i’m gonna take a step back from joshler :’) ive taken breaks before and i doubt it’s gonna be permanent since pilots are like my default fandom but harringrove has me by the balls right now so i think after this i might not post any joshler for awhile unless i finish some of my wips :/

Tyler’s bold and careless and not expecting an answer, which is the only reason he has the guts to send Josh Dun, a living, breathing, internet legend (maybe that’s overselling it a little) a direct message on Twitter, asking him why he’s so thick, with two c’s.

Him not expecting an answer is probably why he bursts out laughing, hard enough that he even teared up a little bit, while he’s getting coffee with his friends at the sight of the push notification that lights his phone screen up:  _ “I never skip leg day, that’s why. I also eat a lot.” _

He slides his phone across the table he’s sitting at with Mark and Jenna. Mark has a hand on his forehead and Jenna has a wide grin on her face as she asks, “Are you going to answer him?”

“Do you care if I do it now? I don’t wanna leave the dude hanging.” Tyler takes his phone back, and taps on the notification. He’s going to answer him anyways, regardless of whether or not Jenna gives him her blessing. (She does, of course.)

_ “I’m gonna be honest, if I knew you were going to answer, I would’ve said something else.” _

The answer he gets his instantaneous and despite initially being vaguely annoyed, even Mark leans forward to look at Tyler’s phone.

_ “If you said anything else, I wouldn’t have answered. I just need the people to know why I’m so thicc.” _ Tyler smiles like a dumbass at his phone, and turns the screen off, making a mental reminder to reply once he’s home, and alone, without the prying eyes of his friends. (Added, he feels like an asshole having his phone out right now.)

*

Tyler responds while he’s sitting on his bathroom counter, waiting for his bathtub to fill up with bordering-on-scalding water. He goes through his phone a few times, checking notifications on various applications, before remembering that he has a specific conversation that he’d like to reply to. He’s quick about tapping through his phone until he has his conversation with Josh open.

He types and retypes a response, chewing on his lip the whole time, before settling on:  _ “I still feel like it’s weird to just up and message a cute guy, to ask him why he’s thicc. I feel like it’s a little inappropriate. Good to know, though. I’ll make sure not to skip leg day, haha.” _

He gets an answer an hour and a half later, when he’s lying in bed wrapped in a bathrobe and his duvet. His phone vibrates and the screen lights up as the notification drops down, just as he’s reaching for the lamp next to his bed to turn it off.

He doesn’t hesitate in tapping on the notification as he’s grabbing his phone and pulling his arm back under his duvet.

_ “You think I’m cute? Even with the honker of a nose on my face? Consider me flattered.” _

He has a smile on his face as he types back.  _ “Especially with your nose. Your face is unique and I can’t deny that I’m attracted to uniqueness.” _

He also nearly chokes on his spit when the message gets marked as read and a notification appears at the top of his screen.  _ “@joshuadun has followed you!” _

He keeps his cool, though.

_ “Just so I don’t have to type your full username every time I want to respond to you. 👀. You’re funny.” _

_ “How do you know I’m not a crazy fan of yours?” _

_ “You didn’t keysmash when I answered you and I didn’t see any screenshots pop up on your account. That strikes me as genuine interest, rather than you being a ‘crazy fan’ as you’ve called it. Though, I’m eager and a little too trusting, so perhaps this will blow up in my face.” _

_ “Nah, I’m not like that. I have this thing where I like to DM every cute guy I know of on the internet at least once. You happen to be one of them, and also one of the only ones that have answered. No outing or clout chasing here.” _

The three dots that signal he’s typing pop up and disappear a few times before disappearing a final time, for ten minutes or so, before a message comes through.  _ “Clout chasing. Lmao. That made me laugh. I need to go to bed because I have things to do tomorrow, but can I keep dming you? You seem nice.” _

_ “Dude, sure. Feel free. If you want, you can have my Kik or my number too. I need to hit the sack as well, though. Got work. Boo.” _

_ “Big boo. To be fair, I have work too, lol. Just… not a 9-5. I’ll hold off on the number and kik exchanging for now, but good to know you have either. I’ll talk to you tomorrow hopefully!” _

*

Tyler’s sitting behind the building he works in indulging himself in a cigarette and picking at a Caesar salad when he gets a message from Josh. A smile spreads across his face as soon as he sees it, and he feels a little giddy as he taps on the notification.  _ “I don’t know if you’ve ever sat in a board meeting with a bunch of stuffy old white men, but it sucks.” _

_ “Worked in finance for a few years before getting into cosmetology. I really fucking understand that. I don’t think I’m allowed to disclose what company I worked for, but, trust me, I feel your pain.” _

Josh sends three cry laughing emojis, and Tyler puts his cigarette out on the asphalt he’s sitting on, with a smaller, more reserved smile on his face this time.

_ “So, cosmetology? Do you cut hair or something?” _

_ “Mm, I possess the ability to do so, but my interests lie more in the make-up side of things. Um. The place I work at right now mainly does stuff for weddings and events, so my creativity is limited but I do have an Instagram for my more creative stuff if you want to see some of my work…? Is that too bold?” _

_ “Absolutely not! I’d love to see! :D” _

_ “I really feel like I’m doing the whole clout-chasing thing now. Oof. Are you sure?” _

_ “It’s totally cool, dude. Show me. I’m curious now.” _

_ “Okay. It’s @trjbooty. Seems like a place for pics of my ass, but trjbeauty was taken.” _

_ “Is there a place for pics of your ass?” _

_ “Give it a bit before you jump the gun on the booty pics, bro. Lol.”  _ Tyler cackles, and takes a slow bite of his salad.

_ “Apologies. Let me know when we’re at that level.” _

_ “Will do. Also, sorry to cut the conversation short, but my break is almost over and I have a few appointments this afternoon. TTYL.” _

*

Tyler has dinner — take out from a nearby Chinese restaurant — spread out across his coffee table after work when he reads Josh’s latest messages.

_ “Okay, so, I didn’t realize that you’re a dude. Luckily I’m not straight, so no sexuality crisis here. Also, I just really need you to know that you’re super talented and super cute, and that I’m shocked you don’t have more followers. It’s mind boggling that it’s the talentless folks who get the fame.” _

His heart thuds and his cheeks burn. He gets about halfway through a carton of rice and an episode of  _ Orange Is The New Black _ before he comes up with an eloquent response.  _ “I’m really flattered by that. Holy shit. A few things, though. One, yeah it’s always the talentless dumbasses who get the fame. I don’t do it for the followers, though. Two, aren’t you… dating someone?” _

_ “Um. We haven’t announced that we broke up yet + I’m also not out out of the closet. (Not that you asked.) She moved out, tho, and we’re still waiting until there’s not a bunch of shit going on to announce it, I guess. I hate that I have to announce my breakups. I feel like that sounds like I’m bullshitting you, but I promise I’m not. I probably should have said that I’m not seeing anyone before hitting on you. 🤦🏻♂️. Hi, my name is Josh and I’m kind of an awkward, dumb, hot little mess.” _

Tyler puts his spoon down to type with both hands.  _ “It’s cool. I was just clarifying. Not that I don’t love moonlighting as a mistress, but I’ve been cheated on before so I didn’t want to be the other person I guess. Good to know that you’re not seeing anyone though. (Also I love awkward guys, so it’s so fine, man. Totally cool. :D)” _

_ “Totally valid and understandable. I may have had my fair share of drama *gestures towards channel* but cheating isn’t my thing. It’s a fucked up thing to do and if I had a hankering to sleep with someone else while with her, I honestly would’ve just asked or broken up with her before just doing lol. Too personal?” _

_ “Nah. Small talk sucks. I love deep conversations. I feel you, though. Honestly, in every situation I’ve been cheated on, I literally wouldn’t have cared if they’d just asked. It’s like… An issue of consent. If that makes sense. I might not have said yes but being given the respect of having been asked… I would’ve appreciated.” _

_ “That makes perfect sense and I’m so on the same page as you, dude. I’ve been cheated on a few times too :/ Understanding the psychology behind cheating has helped me a lot but it’s still a super fucked up thing to do, y’know? Ugh.” _

_ “I know. Cheating is wack. Anyways, I have another question. How long have you been single + would I, if… anything happened, be a rebound?” _

_ “You’re bold, but I like bold. A few months and I’ve already had my slew of rebound fucks, so I think you’d be safe. Why?” _

_ “I don’t like getting into relationships unless there’s a chance for something more.”  _ Tyler hits send and bites his cheek before following it up.  _ “Just, so you know what my intentions are if we keep up this flirting thing. If it doesn’t work out then no harm done, but I’m like. Gonna be in it for the long haul.” _

_ “That’s fine. Thank you for being honest. I think it’s time we exchanged phone numbers. 👀.” _

_ “I agree. :^) (xxx) xxx-xxxx.” _

_ “Columbus? 👀 You a hometown boy. Damn. Makes me sad I live in Cali now.” _

_ “Haha. I need to finish eating dinner. TTYL?” _

_ “Sure. I’ll text ya to make sure I got the right number. (Also don’t want my number floating around in DMs just in case.)” _

*

Tyler reads Josh's text once he has leftovers put away, and he's on his couch again, legs tucked under himself and half wrapped in a quilt gifted to him by his grandmother.

_ "It's Josh. Hope I have the right number." _

_ "You do. I'm watching OITNB and I cannot express how much I dislike Piper."  _ Tyler mutes the volume on his TV until the scene changes, as if to emphasize his point, despite the fact he's alone in his apartment.  _ "I have to mute my TV every time she's on." _

_ "Understandable. The main character is always the least interesting in a TV show. I've been rewatching Friends lately and it's so much more boring and unlikable than I remember it being." _

_ "I fucking hate Friends. I hate sitcoms in general, with the sole exceptions of The Nanny and That 70's Show. I'm picky with shows. Sitcoms are not free of my wrath." _

_ "Your wrath? Lmao. That's funny." _

_ "Yes. I turn into the Hulk and smash my TV weekly. I'm in crippling debt, Josh. I've had to buy 20 new TVs this year alone."  _ Tyler can’t help the giggle that passes his lips as he hits send.

Josh takes a few minutes to respond.  _ “You had me in tears with that. I don’t know why that hit me in the giggle dick, but it did.”  _ A second message arrives shortly after.  _ “You’re a lot cooler than I thought you were going to be based upon that first DM. Genuinely, I haven’t laughed like that in, like, ever.” _

_ “I’m not nearly as funny as I think I am.” _

_ “Well, you’re funny enough to me. If you can make yourself laugh, then that’s all that matters. It just so happens that you also made me laugh.” _

_ “If I can be honest back at you, you’re a lot nicer than I thought you’d be. I’m not gonna act like I don’t know who you are, but you always came off as someone who was nice on camera but an asshole in private. Yet. You’re not an asshole, which is super cool.” _

_ “I mean, I can be an asshole, but if given the choice, I like to be nice. It makes me feel sad when I’m not nice. I’m a firm believer in the belief that I should put out the kind of energy that I want in life. So. I try to be as nice as I can.” _

And, maybe Tyler is a little charmed. Maybe he nods slowly, and quietly says, “Wow,” to himself.  _ “I love that,”  _ he types, and sends, following it with,  _ “Seriously. I love that. That’s a good way to go about life. Consider me officially charmed by you.” _

_ “Haha. I feel like a fake-deep asshole sometimes, but I dunno. Do unto others, yadda yadda.” _

_ “There’s no shame in being nice or believing in something, at least in my opinion. Unless it’s, like, something bad, but you’re a nice guy, so it’s whatever.” _

_ “Well, thank you. Also, hate to cut this short, but my little brother just showed up at my place and wants me to feed him because he’s a mooch. Hopefully I’ll talk to you later or tomorrow or something.” _

_ “It’s all good. Make sure your bro doesn’t starve.” _

_ “Will do lol.” _

*

A few days and a handful of conversations later, Tyler finds himself at Jenna’s apartment, helping her get ready for a date when she asks, “Any new developments on the Josh situation?”

He taps the brush in his hand against the lid on the eyeshadow palette in his other hand, and juts his jaw out a little bit, before speaking slowly as he makes gentle strokes across her eyelid with the brush. “We’ve moved from Twitter to texting, and he’s a lot nicer than I thought he was going to be.”

“How nice are we talking? Me nice, where I’m nice if I don’t know you, but kind of mean once we’re friends? Or are we talking, like… Mother Teresa?”

“I mean nice as in… he’s just  _ nice.  _ And he’s genuine about it.” Tyler shrugs, puts the brush down on her bathroom counter, and takes her chin in his hand, examining his work by rotating her head back and forth. “He told me that he had a phase where he was an asshole for no reason, and that he didn’t like being that way, so he just… Doesn’t act like that anymore, and I’m gonna be honest… I think he’s for real. I think he’s the real deal. A lot of those big internet people are kind of, uh… Not great, at least not in private, but so far he’s been nothing but polite. I swear, I’m going to be so pissed if I met my next boyfriend by asking him why he’s so thick, with two c’s.”

Jenna snorts and smiles and opens her eyes. “You’ve done worse things, Tyler. You’re pursuing him, then?”

Tyler nods. “I think so, yeah. I’m going to play it by ear for the time being. If texting goes well, I figure we can bump it up to phone or Skype calls, or both, and if that goes well, maybe… I don’t know. Maybe we could meet. I feel like that sounds creepy.” Tyler makes a face, starting to slide make up into the backpack he’d brought his supplies in.

“Not at all. I don’t think it does, at least.”

“The thing is — he has trust issues, I think, with dating, um… Normal people, or whatever. Basically, dating a non-famous person. Going slow and talking to him and getting to know him seems like the right course of action here. He’s genuinely  _ so  _ sweet, and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings, y’know?”

She nods this time. “Totally.”

*

Tyler just happens to have YouTube open on his phone when he gets a push notification from Josh’s channel, notifying him that the newly befriended man has just posted a video announcing and explaining his recent breakup. Tyler feels like he’s being invasive by watching it, but he figures that he’s allowed, given that Josh published it with the intention of sharing it with his thirteen million subscribers.

Tyler pauses the video about two minutes in, and sends Josh a text.  _ “It’s weird watching your videos after talking to you. Like, that’s the person I’m talking to.” _

_ “Starstruck? ;)” _

_ “Not really. More so that I don’t associate the words in this conversation with a face, but rather some amorphous anonymous figurehead that just happens to be you. That makes no fucking sense. Anyways, I’m a few minutes into your new video. You’re very eloquent and well spoken.” _

_ “I get what you mean. I have trouble associating your messages to the face I see on Instagram, but it’s fine. We’ll get over it.” _

_ “We totally will, bro. I’m gonna go back to eating my lunch and peeping your new video. Is it weird that I still watch them?” _

_ “Naw. If you had YouTube I’d watch your stuff too.” _

_ “Fair enough.” _

*

Tyler posts a picture on Instagram, of a cool look he conjured up through an hour and a half of tedious work with a handful of eyeshadow brushes and products that probably don’t belong on his eyelids. He’s not surprised at the first few hundred likes on the picture, but he’s surprised when he sees Josh’s username pop up in his notifications, followed by about thirty thousand  _ more _ over the next few hours.

He’s quick to open his text conversation with Josh once he notices.  _ “Dude. Um. I don’t know if you’re aware that by liking one of my pics on Instagram, you dragged about thirty something thousand of your followers with you. What the fuck.” _

_ “Was that not okay…?” _

_ “Don’t get me wrong, I love the attention, but how the fuck can you liking a picture - just liking it, nothing else - make it, like… Blow up? Wtf.” _

_ “I thought you looked cute :( Do you want me to take the like back?” _

_ “Nooo. Sorry. I’m not used to getting attention like that.” _

_ “It’s cool. Get used to it, though, because I like showering people with attention. 😔.” _

_ “Oh god. I’m getting comments asking why you liked the picture.” _

_ “I’ll tell them. Don’t try me.” _

_ “Don’t out yourself for me quite yet, bro.” _

_ “I was joking, haha. If anyone asks me directly I’ll just say I thought you looked cool.” _

_ “We should, like, call on the phone some time. Idk when but. At some point.” _

_ “I’m sitting in an Uber right now but when I’m home for the night I can see how I feel about that?” _

_ “Yes. I’m down. Let me know how things are going!” _

_ “Will do!” _

*

Josh doesn’t text back.

He calls.

Tyler’s in his bedroom for the night, watching cat videos on his laptop, when his phone starts ringing. He yawns and wipes his eyes, since they’d started watering, before picking his phone up and swiping on the answer button, bringing it to his ear after doing so. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything before Josh starts speaking.  _ “Oh, god, I didn’t expect you to answer. Isn’t it, like, one? Don’t you have work?” _

Tyler snorts, yawns again. “Yeah, but I don’t have any appointments until the afternoon. Don’t worry about it. Your voice, uh… Sounds different on the phone.”

Tyler hears a slight chuckle.  _ “You sound like a straight guy.” _

“Do all gay male makeup artists have to sound like a valley girl? Way to stereotype me, Josh,” Tyler teases. “I was expecting a lot better out of you.”

The laugh he hears this time is loud and sweet and it pulls at his heart.  _ “Dude, I’m tired. I don’t know what I expected you to sound like, but this wasn’t it. It fits, though. I like your voice.” _

“Go to bed, if you’re tired.”

_ “You first.” _

“Mm… Not yet. I have cat videos to watch and cute boys to talk to.”

_ “Cat videos?”  _ Of course, it’s the mention of cats that gets Josh’s attention. Tyler thinks it’s cute.

“Yeah. There’s this Russian guy who posts videos of him feeding the stray cats in his town. I like watching them before I sleep, sometimes.” Tyler clicks onto the next video, letting out another yawn. “I’m not a huge fan of animals, but I’ve always had a soft spot for cats. They’re like me. Quiet and sneaky, with weirdly specific boundaries.”

_ “I relate to cats in which I just want to lay in the warmest, softest spot, and maybe get cuddled once in awhile.” _

“That’s adorable,” Tyler sleepily states. “How was your day, man?”

_ “Uh. Busy. Had a few meetings, and a lot of commuting to do. I have a lot of stuff to do next week, too, and I’m dreading that.”  _ Tyler hears shuffling in the background, then Josh grunting.  _ “The things I have to do next week, though… Well, those are a next-week-me problem. For now, I’m getting cozy under my duvet and enjoying this phone call.” _

“I know you can’t see me, but I smiled.”

_ “Good. How about you, though? How was your day?” _

“Had a few clients this morning, then… I posted that picture on Instagram. Also, by the way, I’ve gained five thousand followers thanks to you. So. Y’know.  _ Thanks.  _ That’s a lot. I… had Taco Bell for dinner, then cleaned my apartment, and now I’m in bed, on the phone with you, and watching cat videos. I’ve had a boring day, honestly.”

_ “Congrats on the fame,”  _ Josh jokes.

Tyler snorts.

_ “Outside of my meetings and being in the car for a collective three hours, my day was also pretty boring, honestly. I think this phone call is probably the most interesting thing I’ve done. Also… I wanted to ask something.” _

“Shoot.” Tyler taps the space bar on his laptop to pause the video he’d been watching.

_ “So… Mother’s day is a week from this Sunday, and I’m gonna be flying back to Columbus. If you’re not cool with it, then just say so, but… I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a meal at some point…? Or coffee, or drinks; I’m not picky, bro.” _

“Uh. I’ll have to check my schedule, because sometimes I have clients on the weekend, but I should be free. That sounds wonderful, really.”

_ “Thank god. Cool. Alright. I wanted to ask over the phone. I figure meeting in a public, neutral, well lit area would… Be a good idea. I’ve never — I’ve never, like, been interested in someone I haven’t met in person before.” _

“I’d say the same, but, uh, my last two boyfriends I met on Tinder.”

Josh laughs again.  _ “Fair enough, dude.”  _ Josh yawns, too.  _ “I think I’m going to go to sleep. You should sleep too.” _

“Alright, alright. I suppose I should sleep.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “I’ll let you know how my schedule looks.”

_ “Alright, man. Uh. Talk to you later, I guess.” _

“Yep. Sleep well, dude.”

_ “You too.” _

*

They decide on going out for lunch the day before Mother’s Day, and Tyler sits in Jenna’s apartment for the few hours preceding what he hopes is a date. (He’s pretty sure it’s a date, since both he and Josh have referred to it as such.) (He’s also at her apartment, since she lives within walking distance of the restaurant Josh had picked out.) She’s on her bed, watching something on her phone and mumbling out, “Mhm,” at him every few minutes or so since he’s babbling while filling his eyebrows in.

“Quit  _ mhming  _ me. Is it too much to be filling my eyebrows in? I don’t want him to think I’m obnoxious. It’s just lunch. I don’t even need to dress  _ up.” _

The sound coming from Jenna’s phone stops, so he assumes she’s either muted her phone or paused whatever she’d been watching. “Tyler, honey, listen to me. Dress in a way that’s appropriate and that makes you feel good. He follows your makeup account on Instagram, so he already has an idea of your… skillset. The way you talk about him, I doubt he’s going to care if you fill your brows in.”

“He’s just so  _ nice,  _ and I want to impress him.” Tyler pouts, and tilts his head in a few different directions. “I’m so conceited. Jesus.”

“You’re  _ nervous,  _ not conceited. There’s a difference.”

Tyler mimics her a little bit, before getting his things put away. He’s about to start rambling again, but his phone buzzes and the screen lights up.  _ “Hey, I’m on my way to the place. I’m, like, super excited to see you.” _

“Okay, uh, I need to get to walking. He just texted me.”

*

Tyler’s able to pick Josh out in the small parking lot of the diner with ease. Of course he is. He’s been following him for nearly five years. Even if he hadn’t, Tyler’s pretty sure he’d be able to recognize him regardless. Josh’s face lights up once he sees Tyler approaching him, and Tyler almost collapses at the bright grin that spreads across Josh’s face. He’s fucking  _ adorable.  _

Josh opens his arms and although Tyler isn’t much of a hugger, he goes in for a hug anyways. He squeezes tight, and when he pulls back, hands on Josh’s shoulders, he inhales deep and dramatic, stating, “You are a lot shorter than I thought you were.”

Josh cackles. “You’re taller than I thought you were. I kind of assumed you’d be short.”

Tyler shakes his head, not bothering to hold back his grin. “Nah. I’m tall, gangly, and uncoordinated.”

*

Chemistry like this is hard to come by, Tyler thinks. He half expects to have lunch with Josh, expects the whole ordeal to not take more than an hour, but it’s been two and a half and Jenna’s left him a voicemail and three texts, making sure he’s alright, by the time he looks at his phone while rooting around his sweatshirt pocket for his wallet.

He doesn’t read Jenna’s texts, mostly since he’s pretty sure he’s about to walk back to her place anyways, and since he’s pulling out a twenty dollar bill from his wallet, placing it on the check. Josh sets out a ten dollar bill of his own, saying, “Hey, man, I could pay for this.”

Tyler waves his hand dismissively, even going so far as to wink at him, and to state, “It’s fine. A gentleman always pays for the first date, right?”

Josh snorts and Tyler swears he sees his cheeks turn red as he shakes his head. “Right, right. So — this was a date, then?”

“I mean… I hope so. I put on eyebrows for you, bro.” Tyler gestures towards his eyebrows. “Also, I mean… I had a good time, and you’re, again, a lot cooler than I thought you were going to be, even in person. I’m okay with it if this isn’t just a one time thing.”

“Good, because I kind of don’t want it to be a one time thing either.”

Tyler inhales deeply, and on the exhale, he grins.

*

Josh drives him back to Jenna’s apartment, despite it only being a three minute drive, and Tyler’s sent off with a sweet little kiss on the lips and another big bear hug. He’s on Jenna’s couch with a glass of water and her staring at him, waiting for an explanation, when his phone lights up with a notification telling him that Josh had posted on Twitter.

Before giving Jenna all of the dirty details from his two and a half hour lunch date with Josh, he reads the tweet.  _ “Just went on a date. The last time I was that nervous was before the spelling bee in 5th grade. So many fear farts.” _

He starts laughing and sends a screenshot of it to Josh, captioned with,  _ “I didn’t smell any of your fear farts, so we’re good.” _

_ “Thank god. I was so scared.” _

*

Tyler sees Josh once more before he leaves to go back to California. They’re at Tyler’s apartment to watch a few movies once Tyler’s done with work, and Tyler’s still thoroughly shocked at how well he and Josh  _ click. _

Tyler’s holding onto Josh’s arm, with his head on the other man’s shoulder, when he turns the volume on his TV down a bit so he can speak without having to raise his voice or shout. “I hope I’m not imagining things, but, like… I don’t think I’ve ever met someone, and clicked so fast, not like this.”

“I feel like we’re in some corny movie, or something, but I’ve been — I’ve been trying to find a way to bring it up,” Josh admits. “I was kind of hoping it wouldn’t work out, or whatever, because I know when I go home tomorrow, I’m going to be  _ sad. _ ” He makes some sort of whining noise in his throat, and slouches down on the couch a little further, seeming to be trying to get closer to Tyler.

“You should spend the night,” Tyler mumbles. He moves one of his hands down so he can hold Josh’s.

“Are you a big or little spoon?” Tyler feels Josh’s head shift, and he figures if they were sitting up properly, Josh would be looking at him.

“It depends on who I’m with, but I’m clingy, so I’ll go with big spoon. Why?”

“I’m such a little spoon, dude.” Josh giggles a bit. “That’s good to know, and it absolutely influences my decision to spend the night.”

“Okay, good. If you were a big spoon, I think that might’ve been a dealbreaker.” Tyler leans away, just a bit, and cranes his head up. He smiles into it when Josh plants a kiss on his lips.

*

Tyler manages to talk Josh into letting him do his makeup once the movie they’re watching ends. He makes a few faces and for a bit, Tyler’s sure he’s about to say  _ no,  _ but once he promises that he’ll have a clear face by the time he goes back home, Josh gives in and allows it. Tyler’s stupid with excitement, and despite his initial complaining, Josh holds still and lets Tyler do his thing.

Tyler’s filling in one of his eyebrows when Josh asks, “How did you get into makeup? You said you used to work in… finance? I just gotta wonder how you go from one thing to another.”

Tyler hums, and tilts his head as he flicks his wrist a certain way, thinking of what to say. “Well… I’ve lived, uh… Two different lives. That’s how I like to put it. I graduated from high school, went to college on a basketball scholarship and majored in finance, and I worked as an accountant for a few years. I even got married.” He shakes his head with a fond smile on his face.

“You were married?” Josh keeps his eyes closed, even though he doesn’t need to. He looks like he’s trying not to start laughing. “That’s hard to picture.”

Tyler pulls his hands away from Josh’s face, and when he opens his eyes, Tyler points towards the wall next to his living room window. “Wedding photos. I shit you not — I was married for a good year and a half. I had… I don’t know how to explain it, but I had a mental breakdown when I realized that I’m gay, pretty much. As it turns out, my ex-wife is a huge lesbian, and we’re still friends to this day. Best friends, actually.”

“I’m still friends with my ex-girlfriend. Deb’s cool, but it didn’t work out.” Josh shrugs. “That’s not a problem, right?”

Tyler shakes his head. “As long as Jenna being my best friend isn’t an issue.”

“Sick.”

“Anyways, I got divorced, quit my job, lived with Jenna for a few more years while I was in beauty school, figured out that I have a knack for makeup, and… here we are. I have a d-list celebrity in my living room letting me do his makeup.”

That makes Josh start cackling. “D-list. Good to know.”

“Point is… I tried living the kind of life my parents wanted for me, but it fucking  _ sucked,  _ and I… I don’t know, man. Life isn’t perfect, but I’ve found a lot of peace doing what I do, y’know?”

Tyler goes back to filling in Josh’s eyebrow, the other one this time, and Josh asks another question. “How’d you find me? On YouTube, I mean.”

“That’s… kind of a funny story, actually.” Tyler chews on his cheek. “Do you remember that drag edit of you that blew up? My friend — Mark — he showed me a picture of you, because… I have a type with men, and you fit that type nearly perfectly, and he didn’t believe me when I said that you’d look good in drag, so… I bought Facetune, and went to fucking town.”

Josh has to grab Tyler’s wrist, and move his hand away, because he starts laughing harder than Tyler’s ever seen anyone laugh. “That was  _ you?!  _ Oh my god,  _ dude,  _ thank you, because you gave me, like, five videos worth of content from that.”

Tyler’s smiling, and he supposes he can risk kissing Josh on the cheek. “You’re welcome.”

“God, that means you’ve been around for awhile then, huh?”

“Yep. I was still in the process of getting divorced when that happened. It feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Seriously, though, dude. I still lived in Ohio when that happened. Jesus.”

*

“I look hot,” is what Josh says once he gets a look at himself in the mirror in Tyler’s bathroom.

“I concur.” Tyler doesn’t look up at him, since he’s digging through one of his drawers for a pack of makeup wipes. “Uh. I can wipe your face off, if you want.”

“Don’t you want to take pictures, or something?” Josh quirks a newly sculpted eyebrow at him. “You spent an hour and a half on this. You have my permission to squeeze some clout of me.”

“I mean… If you  _ want  _ me to take pictures, I can, but I was kinda… I dunno. I wasn’t doing it for attention. Sometimes I just like doing makeup if I’m bored, and I mean… Doing your makeup has been a goal of mine in the first place since we started talking, so…” Tyler shrugs. 

“I want you to take pictures,” Josh tells him. “Not to be too gay, but I want to see you succeed, and if posting a picture of me on your Instagram can help you do that, then I want you to.”

Tyler has the makeup wipes in his hand, and he stands up straight. He’s barely tall enough to where he has to actually look  _ down  _ at Josh. “Here’s the thing. I don’t want this to become a habit — using you.”

“Tyler, I know.”

“Okay, and I get that, maybe in your world, when you do something wacky, your first instinct is to whip your phone out and to take a picture or video or whatever, but I’m not… I don’t…”

Josh holds up a single finger, and presses it to Tyler’s lips. “Bro. You’re thinking way too hard about it. Obviously we have something going on, so sooner or later, we’re bound to be discovered as, like, knowing each other, or whatever. Also, I look fucking  _ hot,  _ and I want there to be photographic evidence of it. You haven’t shown any signs of wanting to use me, otherwise I wouldn’t want you to do this.”

Tyler squints at him. He kisses Josh’s finger, too, and holds back a grin when Josh rolls his eyes. “I also want to put it out there that I don’t want you to be my claim to fame.”

“Tyler, again, it’s cool. You’re talented, and part of gaining a following is collaborating. Take a damn picture of me, then wipe my face off and spoon me before I have to fly home, alright?”

_ “Fine.” _

*

Josh has his camera on him — of course he does — and he shows Tyler how to use it, telling him that if he’s going to post the picture, he may as well do it with a good camera. Tyler takes the picture, feeling proud of himself, since it comes out looking pretty freaking professional.

He posts it the next morning once Josh gets a chance to airdrop it to him, captioning it with,  _ “Made a new friend. He was patient enough to let me make him look pretty last night.” _

*

Mark connects the dots and corners Tyler at work. Well, it’s not that he corners him, but he makes an appointment to get a haircut a week after the picture goes up, and while Tyler’s trimming the back of his head, he asks, “Are you dating him?”

“Dating who?” Tyler keeps his face straight, even though he knows what Mark’s getting at. 

“Josh, you dumbass. He posted something about going on a date, and then you posted that picture of him.” He gives Tyler a  _ look  _ when they make eye contact in the mirror.

“We went on a date the day before Mother’s Day, and he came over to hang out the night before he flew home. I don’t — I don’t know if that’s considered dating.” Tyler’s lying through his teeth. They haven’t established anything, but the interest is mutual and Mark doesn’t seem convinced.

“You’re bullshitting me. We’ve been friends since high school. You should know that you can’t bullshit me by now.”

“You shouldn’t be mean to me when I have scissors and a fist full of your hair in my hands,” Tyler deadpans.

“I’d just buzz my head if you messed with my hair. You can’t win here.”

“I hate you.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “We haven’t established anything, but we’re interested in each other.”

*

A few of Josh’s followers connect the dots, too. Tyler’s on Skype eating dinner while Josh edits a video when Tyler says something. “People keep asking me on Twitter if we’re dating.”

_ “You’re not answering them, are you?”  _ Tyler looks up to see that Josh is eyeing his laptop.

“No. If you get outed, it’s going to be on your terms. I’m not going to be the one that does it.” He scrolls through his notifications on Twitter a little more. “How do people connect the dots that fast? You tweet once about a date, and people think it’s me.”

_ “I mean, it  _ was  _ you. Sorry if I’m  _ weird  _ about, like… letting people know.”  _ Tyler looks up when he hears him sigh.  _ “I’ve been in too many situations where I haven’t been in control about what information about me is available online, so I’m… Do you know what I mean?” _

Tyler nods. “I get it. I’m, uh… I’m a pretty private person, at least when it comes to what I post online. I’m also not famous, but…” He shrugs. “I get it, man. Also, I mean, we’ve been on one date,” he points out. “I still think it’s a little too soon to be posting about it.”

_ “Yeah. I also want to be careful about coming out. It’s not that I’m not out, it’s just… I don’t ever get a chance to express that, hey, I’m bi, and people like to make their own assumptions, especially since I was in a very public relationship with a girl for a good three years.” _

“Are you out to your family or friends at all?”

_ “I am, yeah. My parents are a little iffy with it, but they’re not assholes. My friends are all queer in some way or another anyways, so me being generally not straight isn’t, like… It’s not out of place. It’s just — publicly, I guess I’m not. Are you out?” _

“Dude, I quit my job as an accountant to pursue cosmetology. Of course I’m out.”

Josh snorts.  _ “Dumb question, sorry.” _

“Don’t worry about it, bud.”

*

Tyler’s in bed a month after Josh goes home, on the phone with him, with his phone on speaker, since they have a newly formed habit of calling each other before bed. (Tyler’s usually the one that calls first, given the time difference.) He’s sleepy and in the middle of a yawn when he hears,  _ “You should come visit me,”  _ coming from his phone in a soft and maybe sad sounding tone.  _ “I miss you.” _

Tyler hums quietly. “I miss you too.”

_ “I’m tired and emotional, but… I don’t know. I feel like there’s this — this  _ hole  _ in me, and it’s from missing you, which sounds stupid, because we’ve gone on one date and hung out once. I’m not good at long distance stuff.” _

“You’re allowed to be emotional,” Tyler mumbles. “I don’t think that the fact that we only had the chance to go out on a single date and hang out once should negate you missing me, because we have a relationship outside of, like,  _ that,  _ or whatever. I miss you too. A lot. I haven’t been able to spoon someone in years, so after having a single night of quality spooning, I’m jonesing, man.”

_ “Always the jokester.”  _ Tyler can imagine him rolling his eyes, and it makes his heart ache a little bit.  _ “I’m serious, though. You should come visit me.” _

“When?”

_ “I can look at tickets tomorrow, or something, and we can plan it out in more detail later.” _

Tyler yawns, again, nice and loud. “I’d like that. I’ll have to request some time off from work, or quit, because I kind of don’t like where I’m working at anyways, but… I think we could make it happen.”

_ “You’d really quit your job to come visit me?” _

“Given that I’ve been thinking of quitting for a while anyways, yeah, I would. Totally romantic. I’m the stuff of dreams.”

_ “Super dreamy.” _

*

Tyler does end up quitting his job before visiting Josh, and he knows that Josh is responsible for the fact that a few more sponsorship opportunities start being thrown his way, as if to make up for the lost wages, even if he doesn’t say anything. 

Tyler’s sitting on the floor in Josh’s hallway bathroom, trying to decompress after the long flight, and checking his phone to see if anything interesting had happened in the meantime. For the most part, nothing interesting had happened, aside from the probably  _ thousands  _ of pictures he finds himself tagged in.

Tyler looks at a few of them, and he starts to gain a greater understanding as to why Josh isn’t too keen on sharing more of his personal life than necessary. He grunts, and hauls himself off of the bathroom floor, and navigates through Josh’s home, until he finds him standing in his kitchen, pouring himself a glass of ice water.

He pulls one of the pictures up, and holds his phone out to Josh. The one he pulls up is one of the more incriminating ones, one where they were having their moment and  _ kissing  _ and Tyler can see Josh’s face fall. Tyler doesn’t quite know what to say, other than, “I think I can understand why famous people are so private, now.”

Josh nods, and reaches for the power button on Tyler’s phone, to turn the screen off, not wanting to look at the picture any longer. “What makes you say that?” His tone is sarcastic.

“No clue,” Tyler jokes back. He hoists himself up, just a little bit, until he can sit on Josh’s kitchen counter. “It’s really weird to see pictures of us plastered all over my mentions on Twitter, because, like… I don’t know. That was a private moment. I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, but I didn’t — I  _ don’t  _ — want that moment to be spread all over the damn internet.”

“You’re gonna have to get used to it if whatever we have going on works out.” Josh plucks a straw from one of his kitchen drawers, and dunks it into his glass of water.

“I’m optimistic,” Tyler states. “I have a good gut feeling about you, and I’m not letting that go.”

“You’re so  _ romantic.”  _ Josh seems exasperated. “I’m torn between having an anxiety attack from overthinking, and, like, being  _ charmed,  _ because you’re so shameless about being romantic.”

Tyler almost falls off the counter, but manages not to, as he leans over, with a hand on Josh’s cheek, to kiss him on the mouth. “Although I don’t want you to have an anxiety attack — if you do have one, I’ll do anything I can to help. Also…  _ You’re  _ going to have to get used to me being corny and cheesy and way too much of a hopeless romantic.”

Josh scrunches his face up, and Tyler kisses him on the nose. “You’re way too sweet.”

*

They’re in Josh’s car on an interstate, stuck in the middle of backed up traffic, on their way to a restaurant in a different part of the Los Angeles metropolitan area when Josh responds to one single tweet that has a photo of him and Tyler kissing at the airport. Tyler starts giggling when he taps on the notification and sees the exchange. “You got excited? That’s it?”

“I mean, it’s not technically a lie.” Josh shrugs, and places his phone into one of the cupholders. “I was really excited. Maybe I like kissing people when I’m excited.”

“Uh-huh.” Tyler taps the retweet button, and places his own phone in the cupholder with Josh’s. “That sure was excitement I was getting from you earlier.”

“Raw excitement, bro.”

Tyler leans across the console, just a little bit. “You should show me some more of that excitement.”

Josh glances at him, back to the road, then back to him, and Tyler can see him debating with himself before he leans over and pecks him on the lips.

*

Tyler doesn’t quite realize how seriously Josh takes his job until they’re on a hike, standing on a hill overlooking a subdivision that either of them couldn't even  _ dream  _ of living in, and he starts shuffling him around, mumbling something about wanting to get a good shot.

“So, I don’t get a choice on whether or not I want to be in your video?”

Josh shakes his head, and holds his camera up for a moment, looking at the viewfinder, before instructing him. “Don’t look at me or my camera. Look that way.” He points in a direction, and Tyler listens.

Josh starts recording just before Tyler speaks again. “I think it’s pretty cool that you take this so seriously.” He’s still looking in the direction that Josh had pointed at. “I’ve never really thought about videography before, especially not as an art form, but I can see it. I see all these beautiful pictures and videos — and, god, I’m having a galaxy brain moment — but I just never consider how much  _ work  _ it takes. It really is an art.”

*

It’s later when Tyler’s eating a Caesar salad that Josh shows him a rough edit of the shot. “It’s nowhere near done, but…” Josh turns his laptop towards Tyler, who leans forward from where he’s sitting to get a look at the video.

Josh presses play, and Tyler’s in genuine awe as the clip plays. Tyler doesn’t know about all of the specifics that go into video editing or recording, but finds himself saying, “That's like,  _ art.  _ I don’t think anyone’s ever been able to make me look like  _ that  _ in any sort of video. You’re talented as fuck.”

Josh sniffs, and gets a bashful little look on his face at Tyler’s praise. “You looked nice, so I wanted to record it. It’s not a huge deal.”

“Well, I’m flattered, and you’re talented.”

“On a real note…” Josh turns his laptop away, and grabs his mouse from his coffee table as he slouches down on his couch. “If you don’t want me to put that clip in a video, I won’t.”

“If you’re proud of it and you want to do it, then you have my blessing.” Tyler loads his fork with bits of lettuce and chicken as he speaks. “Look, honestly, you made me sound a lot more profound than I am, so I think you should show the clip off.”

*

At the end of the first week of Tyler’s visit, they get a hotel room in a fancy hotel, one that has, quite frankly, a breathtaking view of the ocean. Tyler’s sipping ice water from a wine glass while Josh is slowly working his way through a vodka cooler on the balcony off of their hotel room. 

“So, I have a question.” Tyler swishes his water around his wine glass. “What are we going to do after this visit?”

Josh shrugs. “I’ve been trying to not think about it, because I don’t know.”

“I can’t afford to fly out here more than once or twice a year, man." 

"If it came down to it, I'd move back to Ohio."

"No. Josh, you have a career and a life out here. I don't really have a ton of stuff tying me down in Columbus. I don't have a nine to five anymore, I've had the same two friends since high school — one of whom I married and divorced — and my parents hardly even talk to me unless I seek them out, so realistically, it'd be the other way around. Not saying that I'm moving, but, if it came down to it… I'd probably be the one to move." Tyler takes a few hearty drinks from his ice water.

"The long distance shit sucks," Josh states. "I hate it, because unless we're around each other in person, I can't just come over, or take you out on dates, or vice versa, and it just  _ sucks. _ I'm a needy guy, Tyler. Is it too much to ask to be able to just, like, materialize in your apartment so I can share a bed with you?”

Tyler smiles, and shakes his head. “That’d be ideal, honestly. I feel like it’s a little much to be talking about moving already.” He taps his fingers against his leg.

“If it works out, it’s going to come up eventually. May as well put the idea out there. It’s not as if we aren’t thinking about the possibility.”

“Fair enough. I feel like a cliche — an up and coming makeup artist moves to LA to be with his famous influencer boyfriend, and to get his exercise in by social climbing. Joking about the social climbing part, of course, but… y’know.”

Josh has a smile on his face. “I’m gonna have to come out, too. I wish straight wasn’t the default, because  _ then  _ I wouldn’t need to come out. But it is. So. Here we are.”

“You should come out, so I can hold your hand in public, and kiss you at more airports.”

“Yes, because getting papped at airports is super romantic.”

Tyler has to bite his cheek to keep from laughing.

*

They sleep together, in the hotel, as people do when they pay for luxury hotel rooms. 

Josh’s hands on his back, on his ass, fingers between his ribs, hands splayed out over his shoulder blades — his touch feels soothing, makes Tyler feel like he belongs, like he’s home, like he’s with the right person. Tyler touches his cheek, his hair, and when Josh pulls him down into a kiss and quietly whispers,  _ “Love you,” _ against his lips, Tyler returns the sentiment without having to think twice.

*

Tyler figures it’s not a real vacation until he gets dragged to a houseparty. Josh’s friends are nice, and most of them  _ aren’t  _ famous, which he finds refreshing. In fact, outside of Josh, he doesn’t have any mentionable interactions with anyone even remotely considered famous, except for  _ one.  _

Josh is a little too drunk, and a little too high, leaving Tyler to take care of him. They’re sitting in the corner of a stranger’s backyard, against a wooden fence. Josh is leaning forward a bit, head in his hands, and Tyler’s rubbing his back, occasionally wrapping his arms around his shoulders to hug him. It’s when Josh is starting to calm down that they’re approached by a man that Tyler vaguely recognizes. (He’s pretty sure Josh is friends with him.)

Strange Man plops down on the ground in front of them, and sets an ashtray next to himself as he lights a cigarette.

Tyler just stares.

Strange Man doesn’t acknowledge him, rather opting to nudge Josh in the arm with a few ringed fingers, asking, “What’s up with you?”

Josh lifts his head, just a bit, makes eye contact with Strange Man, and groans quietly before putting his head back. He doesn’t say anything, so Tyler explains. “Bad trip.” It’s short, and it’s sweet.

Strange Man nods thoughtfully. “Are you that, fuckin, uh… That make up artist. James Charles, except, a decade older and not nearly as annoying?”

That draws a chuckle out of him. “Well, that’s an… interesting way to describe me, but, yes. My name is Tyler, but ‘Older and Less Annoying James Charles’ will do, too.”

They shake hands, and Tyler thinks Strange Man is about to introduce himself as well, but Josh speaks. “His name is Brendon, and he spearheaded the next generation of pop punk by bullying Pete Wentz in an email, before quitting music to pursue cosmetology.”

Strange Man — Brendon — snorts and gives Josh a look before making a jab at him. “You’re surprisingly well spoken for someone having a bad trip.”

Josh folds a few of the fingers on his right hand, leaving only his middle finger up. Tyler hugs him again.

“So, are you two fucking?”

Josh puts his hands down, or one of them, at least, since he uses the other one to prop his head up on. “You’re not going to leave me alone are you?”

“No. Is it an unreasonable question? I know you’re not straight, and you flew an arguably cute guy out here for however long he’s supposed to be here.” He gestures towards Tyler. “C’mon. I want the satisfaction of knowing.”

“You know,” Tyler starts, sliding his arm from around Josh, and instead, resting his hand on one of his knees; “I used to scrape together every penny I could so my ex wife and I could go to your concerts, and now you’re here, asking me if I’m fucking Josh Dun.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a small world.” Brendon taps ashes into the ashtray. He has an expectant look on his face.

Josh glances at Tyler, burps, and quietly asks, “Can I…?”

“Go for it.”

“Okay. We haven’t labeled whatever we have going on, but if asked, I wouldn’t say that I’m single. It’s not really that complicated.”

“Simple is good,” is his agreement.

Tyler’s a little surprised that he drops it after this, but he’s not about to complain.

*

The last few days Tyler spends with Josh are odd and sad. Tyler can feel some sort of impending sense of sadness, in the peripheral of his conscious mind, something uneasy, something that makes him panicky, something that sets him on edge and makes him grit his teeth. He notices that Josh seems to become increasingly touchy-feely with him even when they’re in public.

They’re in a Chinese Buffet the first time he comments on it. Josh pecks him on the lips on his way back to their table, with a plate of food in his hands, and Tyler asks, “What if someone sees?” He doesn’t mind the kiss, of course. “This is a pretty busy buffet, Josh.”

“If someone sees us,” he starts as he takes a seat, “then so be it. You’re only here for another two days, and I’m fucking sad about it, so I’m not going to spend them worrying about whether or not someone sees me kiss you.”

The expression on Josh’s face is tender and fond and he finds himself mouthing, “Love you,” at him before he can think to stop himself.

Josh says, “You too,” out loud back to him.

*

Tyler’s in Denver, waiting for his connecting flight, the one that brings him back to Columbus, when his phone starts vibrating with notifications from Josh’s Twitter.

_ “I hate that the one time I manage to instantly have a connection with someone, they live on the other side of the country.”  _ Tyler cracks something of a sad half-grin as he reads the tweet.

_ “I just had the best two weeks of my life with this person, and it’s like I’m missing a part of myself. Which sounds super codependent.” _

_ “I’m just sad and rambling but when you’re with someone like that, it feels like you can breathe again. And now that person is gone. Sadness ensues. Ugh.” _

Tyler likes all of the tweets, and ends up posting a few of his own.

_ “I’ve always thought people who talked about love at first sight were full of shit. It’s like seeing in color for the first time.” _

_ “It’s kind of cool to meet someone, to click, and to just  _ know  _ that this person is going to be important to you before anything even happens.” _

_ “Anywho, I’m sure the person who sat next to me on my first flight loved me. I spent most of the flight crying lol.” _

*

Tyler’s sitting in his living room working on a job application, late at night, and watching Josh’s most recent video on his TV. It’s one of his more  _ artistic  _ videos, and Tyler’s sure to text him and to praise him.  _ “Hey, watching your new video,”  _ is what he opens the text with.  _ “Can’t stress how talented you are. Somehow wasn’t expecting you to use any clips of me? Point is, it takes a lot of talent to make my burnt chicken nugget looking ass look and sound beautiful.” _

He’s nearing the end of the video — where another clip of himself, one where he’s sitting in their hotel room and the sun is reflecting nicely off of his skin, which was tanned thanks to the California sun — when he gets a text back.  _ “God, I love you. Thank you. I’m a sucker for praise on my art. Figure if you’re going to get clout from me, I may as well make it easy on the eyes. Also, burnt chicken nugget or not, you’re like a woodland elf, or something. You’re dainty and pretty and I really fucking miss you.” _

_ “I miss you too :( I’m having withdrawals. Having two full weeks to hug and kiss you and hang out was wonderful, but now that I’m home in my shitty little apartment, I’m sad as hell. On your twit, when you said you felt like you were missing a part of yourself — just want you to know that the feeling is mutual.” _

_ “Come baaack. I’ll take care of you. :^( You can be my sugar baby, except instead of sex, we can just, like, hang out or something and I’ll spoil you I guess.” _

_ “Haha. What if I want the sex though? Gotta admit, Joshua, you’re a pretty good lay.” _

_ “Lmao. Ok maybe we can add sex into the equation but that’s purely because I like getting fucked good.”  _ Tyler grins.  _ “I really miss you dude.” _

_ “On a real note… If I don’t get a fucking call back on any of my job apps, I might have to relocate. Shit, I’d be happy working at a freaking Great Clips if it meant paying my rent.” _

Tyler doesn’t get a text back right away — not until he’s emptying a laundry basket of dirty laundry into his washer, which is when his phone lights up and he sees he has a new message.  _ “If you want, I may be able to hook you up with some sister sponsorships. Could also shout you out?” _

_ “No on the shout out, and on the other stuff — maybe. Still don’t want our relationship/whatever to be about what you can do for me. (No JC memes in this house. I’m way too old for his melodrama.)” _

_ “(Fair enough, lmao.) Short of sending you your rent money my damn self, this is the closest I can come to helping you out, Tyler. :^( If you reallyyy don’t want me to, then I won’t, but… I don’t know, man. I want to see you succeed. I want you to be able to pay your rent without settling for a job you won’t like.” _

_ “I am bad at accepting help.”  _ Tyler tosses an off brand tide pod into his washer, and closes it, after sending that message.

_ “I can tell. On another real note — think of it like a recommendation, or whatever, for a job. I put in a good word for you with some companies and you get coin. Hopefully you get some good professional relationships out of it, too. I love by helping.” _

_ “Ok fine. I’ll allow it. Also when are you free for a phone call?” _

_ “Not until late. Forehead dragged me out with his dumb friends and I’m playing babysitter.” _

_ “Forehead?” _

_ “Urie.” _

_ “Ahhh. Ok. I’m unfamiliar with any nicknames you have for him.” _

_ “Forehead usually covers the whole kit and caboodle. He’s a good guy but FUCK if he can’t pack away some whiskey. He’s a dumbass when he’s drunk.” _

Tyler smiles, softly, and sits on the floor in front of his washer to respond.  _ “Elaborate.” _

_ “Can’t. I’m still scarred. (One time he turned up at my house, broke in, and I found him naked on my couch sleeping to Golden Girls.)” _

_ “Lmao. That’s kind of iconic, as the kids would say.” _

_ “I agree.”  _ Tyler’s about to turn his phone screen off when another message comes through. “ _ Okay I love you a lot and I miss you sososo much but there’s a drunk crying adult heading my way I gotta go be a babysitter.” _

_ “Aw, okay. Miss you too, Josh. Talk to you later.” _

*

“How are things going with your famous boyfriend?” Jenna has a  _ thing  _ — a modeling gig for a local fashion company — and Tyler’s blending foundation down her neck when she asks this. 

“I’m hopelessly and deeply in love with him,” he states. “Or I’m pretty sure I am. I mean, I got home from visiting him, and cried myself to sleep because I missed him so bad. I still do, but I’m beyond the point of crying, at least.”

“You don’t cry like that unless you love someone,” She tells him. “We haven’t had a chance to chat about your visit.”

“You want me to tell you all the gross, nitty gritty little details, don’t you?”

“Maybe not the gross ones, but I’m interested to hear how it went, at least.”

Tyler hums a little bit, quietly, and grabs another product from his bag. “It went well. A lot better than I had expected.” His voice gets a little quieter, and he speaks slower, since he’s focusing. (Not that applying powder on top of foundation requires an alarming amount of precision, but he takes his craft seriously.) “Mostly, we kind of just hung out. We went on a few hikes, even rented a hotel room for the weekend, and… I don’t know. It was nice, enjoying someone’s company like that. He introduced me to his friends, too, which… I wasn’t expecting to happen. He’s — he’s famous. I’d figure he’d want to keep any gay bombshells under wraps.”

“Are his friends nice, at least?” Jenna tilts her head a bit and holds it there when Tyler asks her to.

“They are, yeah. Most of his friends are… normal. As in, not famous. Also… He’s friends with  _ Brendon Urie.”  _ Tyler grins. “Imagine sitting in a stranger’s backyard babysitting your drunk boyfriend, and actual, real life, living and breathing in the  _ flesh  _ Brendon Urie comes up to you and asks you if you and your boyfriend are fucking.”

Jenna snorts and bites her cheek. “I remember when we went around our little apartment and dug up every bit of spare change to go see his band. Is he cool?”

“Honestly? He is. He’s kind of a dick, but… In a good way, y’know? He’s pretty chill. Not the kind of guy you’d expect to have paved the way for modern pop-punk bands.” Tyler sets the makeup sponge in his hand down, and rifles through his bag for a specific eyeshadow palette. “I’d say that it’s weird he gave up music to pursue cosmetology, but… I gave up my nice accounting job to pursue makeup, so I’m really not one to talk.”

“You’re talented with makeup,” She tells him. “As your ex wife, I think I can safely say that it’s been lovely to see you flourish so much. Accounting wasn’t right for you.”

“It’s nice, to have something to fall back on in case this doesn’t pan out, but accounting fucking  _ sucked.” _

“Cheers to that.” She holds her water bottle up, and Tyler shakes his head with a small smile on his face.

*

It’s the first day of August, and Tyler’s sitting in his living room eating dinner with Josh, through Skype, as he eyeballs his notifications on Twitter. He swallows a bite of salad, and as he’s reading a tweet, he speaks; “At what point are we supposed to say something about… whatever we have going on? I’ve been harassed about it for the past few hours.”

_ “Wait until I say something. What are they saying?” _ Tyler glances at his laptop, to see Josh cramming an unreasonably sized bite of chow mein into his mouth with a pair of chopsticks.

“It’s mostly just… people connecting the dots, I guess, between our posts. Plus, your last video didn’t do anything to squash any rumors.”

_ “Well… I’m not exactly trying to hide that we’re together,” _ he explains around a mouth full of food.  _ “I do wish people would mind their own business, but…” _ Josh shrugs.  _ “It’s whatever. Speaking of not doing anything to squash any rumors…”  _

Tyler looks over in time to see that Josh is holding his phone up, and he frowns just before he hears a camera shutter. He holds his middle finger up next, and ends up smiling at the way Josh starts laughing. “Are you going to expose my eating habits?”

_ “Yep. Shame on you for eating so many salads,” _ Josh jokes with a roll of his eyes.

Tyler holds his middle finger up again, and takes his own picture. His finger is out of focus, and Josh laughing in the background, on his screen,  _ is  _ in focus.

(Josh posts the three pictures of Tyler he’d taken on Instagram — one of him frowning, of him holding his middle finger up, and then of him laughing — and captions it with,  _ “Romance at it’s finest.”) _

(Tyler posts his picture on Instagram too, of him flipping Josh off, and Josh laughing on the screen in the background, with the caption,  _ “talk shit get hit bitch.” _ )

*

Josh visits him in September.

It’s on a Saturday when he wakes up to three hard knocks on his front door, and if his time in college taught him anything, his first instinct tells him that he’s about to open his door to a few police officers, or  _ something  _ bad.

It’s nothing bad at all, of course. It takes him a few moments to process what’s happening, since he’s tired, but after looking his mystery guest up and down a few times, his brain supplies him with a few words —  _ boyfriend, love, holy fucking shit he’s atually here  _ — before he’s yanking Josh into a hug. He holds him as tight as he can, and smiles into his shoulder as Josh hugs him back, even going so far as to lift him off his feet a little bit out of excitement.

“What the  _ fuck  _ are you doing here, man?” Tyler still hasn’t let him go not quite yet, although Josh has dropped him back onto his feet.

“My parents are renewing their vows, and I may or may not need a place to stay for the next week.” Josh pulls back, and smiles shyly up at Tyler. “I probably should’ve called first.”

“I mean, yeah, probably, but  _ shit,  _ I’m glad to have you.” Tyler places his hands on Josh’s cheeks, and bends down to give him a big kiss. “I missed you,”  _ kiss,  _ “so,”  _ kiss,  _ “fucking,”  _ kiss,  _ “much.”

Josh kisses him back, and hugs him again. “I love you so fucking much, man, even if your morning breath smells and tastes like hell.”

Tyler nudges him back to breathe in his face, and Josh scrunches his nose up and gently shoves him backwards, after calling him an asshole.

Tyler ends up carrying Josh’s carry on bag for him, telling him he can just put his things in his room, if he wants. (And Josh does want.)

It’s when Tyler’s in his kitchen, pouring an energy drink into a coffee mug, that Josh drops a bomb on him. “So, outside of turning up at your apartment completely unannounced, how would you feel if I asked you to be my plus one to my parents’ vow renewal?” He’s leaning against the counter, next to where Tyler’s standing with his mug of energy drink, pretty much batting his eyelashes at him.

“Have we been together long enough for that to be appropriate?” Tyler quirks an eyebrow. “I mean… I’d love to, of course, but… I don’t know. Renewing your vows sounds like a pretty… intimate occasion.”

“Well, my parents said I could bring someone with me, and they know that I’m seeing someone,  _ so…”  _ Josh does a hand gesture. “I’m also out, so it’s not like I’m going to drag you with me, only for my parents to have a fit over me being into dudes.”

“True. What’s the dress code?” He takes a sip of his energy drink.

“I’m wearing a suit. After the ceremony, everyone’s supposed to go back to the house, and I’m, personally, changing once we’re back at the house, so unless you’re into wearing suits, you wouldn’t have to be in one for longer than a few hours.” Josh offers him a smile, and Tyler can just  _ tell  _ that he’s trying to look extra cute.

It’s working, too. “I just want you to know, Josh, that you’re the only person in the universe who could show up at my apartment and demand that I accompany you to what is essentially a wedding. You’re also the only person who can do that, and manage to get me to  _ agree. _ ”

Josh smiles a full smile this time, something bordering on at least a little goofy.

*

They’re out for breakfast — at one in the afternoon — when Tyler asks, “So… Question — are you trying to introduce me to your family? Is that — is that why you’re… Inviting me?”

Josh nods, and cuts a bite out of a fried egg. “I mean, in essence, yeah. I hope I’m not jumping the gun, but I have a feeling we’re going to be together for awhile, which means that, sooner or later, it has to happen. If you don’t want to, it’s totally fine, man.”

“I’ll do it, man.”

*

Josh’s family is lovely, and Tyler’s pretty sure he’s never gotten on so well with  _ anyone’s  _ family before, including his own. 

Out of everyone in Josh’s family that he would’ve expected to give him the third degree, it’s not Josh’s little brother. Tyler has enough sense to nod along and to promise him, with utmost sincerity, that his intentions are pure, partially because he truly  _ does  _ feel that way, and also because Jordan looks like he could take Tyler in a fight without even breaking a sweat.

_ Furthermore,  _ out of everyone in Josh’s family, Tyler’s shocked that it’s also  _ Jordan  _ who happens to out them on Instagram a few days later.

Tyler’s half asleep, pressed into Josh’s side in his bed with his head resting on his chest, mumbling mostly incoherently about the waning integrity within the makeup industry, while Josh scrolls through Instagram on his phone. He trails off when he sees a notification telling Josh that Jordan had posted pop up at the top of the screen, and watches as Josh taps on it. He’s not super interested in the post — knowing that he’s going to see it on his own later anyways — but his interest  _ does  _ pique a little bit on the fifth photo in the photoset.

The photo itself is cute. Josh’s parents are the focus of the photo, slow dancing, and in the background, out of focus, he sees himself leaning over to kiss Josh on the mouth, and,  _ oh. _ His heart drops into his ass. Josh seems to have the same reaction, judging by how his arm, which is wrapped around Tyler’s waist, tenses up.

He squints at the screen when Josh taps on the comments, of which there’s an absurd amount, and as they read a few of them together, neither of them are particularly surprised to see that the first thing anyone noticed was the two of them kissing in the background.

Josh is the first to say anything. “There’s like, five other fucking pictures of Mom and Dad he could’ve used, but  _ no,  _ he has to pick the one where we’re kissing in the background.”

Tyler frowns, and  _ sighs.  _ “It was an accident, right?”

“It better have fucking been.” Tyler watches him navigate his phone, pulling up his text conversation with Jordan, and he adjusts his position when Josh moves his arm so he can type with both hands.  _ “Go look at your Instagram, dickhead,”  _ is what he sends.

Tyler’s surprised that his first reaction to Jordan’s text back — “ _ HOLY SHIT”  _ — is to start laughing.  _ “DO YOU WANT ME TO DELETE IT??? I’M SO SORRY.” _

Josh scoffs — mostly at Jordan, partially at Tyler.  _ “I think it’s a little late by now. Not like we’ve been super secretive but… You’re a little shit.” _

*

Tyler has a slice of pizza in his hand and he’s listening to Josh brainstorm ideas for his next video, which is the one that he wants to use to actually  _ come out,  _ when he gets an idea of his own. He swallows, and taps Josh to get his attention. “You’re wanting to come out, right? What if I, say, did your make up for you for a video, and in that video… I don’t know. Maybe we could talk. Something chill, but still down to earth and transparent, y’know? I’m still — I’m still pretty detached from the idea of being an actual influencer, or whatever, and as a viewer… I think I’d like to watch something like that.”

Josh blanks for a little bit, and Tyler’s half convinced that Josh is about to tell him that it’s a shitty idea, but instead, he says, “That might… I think that might work. Shit — you need to let me bounce ideas off you more often.”

“Seriously? I didn’t think it was that good of an idea. If you want to do it, I’m down. When do you have to go home, again?”

Josh shrugs. “Technically, I could stay until the end of the month, but I don’t trust Forehead to water my plants for that long. I was going to leave next Friday, like we talked about, but… I kind of want to have a video up within the next few days, if only so I can have my boyfriend here to hold me in case I get stressed.”

“Mm. You’re cute.” Tyler takes another bite of pizza. “We could do it tonight, since we don’t have to be up early.”

*

They finish eating pizza, and they scurry around Tyler’s apartment, setting Tyler’s ring lights up in his living room, and Tyler watches on as Josh sets his own camera up on its tripod. He shoos him off, telling him he needs to go shave, and while Josh is in Tyler’s bathroom shaving, he goes through his makeup collection, picking out specific products, having an idea of what he wants to do in mind.

Tyler lays the products he wants to use out on his coffee table, and by the time Josh is done shaving, he’s able to press record on his camera without fussing too much. (He does make sure the focus is properly set, and gives Tyler a run down on how to speak — minimal swearing and no shit talking any other influencers.)

They sit on Tyler’s couch, and while Josh is running through his introduction, not acknowledging Tyler quite yet, Tyler starts swatching a few different shades of foundation on Josh’s cheek. It’s when Tyler’s rubbing a third shade onto him that Josh addresses him, asking, “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

Tyler raises his eyebrows, glances towards the camera lens, then back to where he’s rubbing foundation onto Josh’s cheek with his thumb before shaking his head quickly. “No.”

Josh snorts. “This video was  _ your _ idea, and you’re not going to introduce yourself?”

Tyler leans back, and gives him a pointed look. “Excuse  _ you.  _ You’re the one who was sitting in my living room, eating my pizza, and listing about fifteen million video ideas.”

Josh gestures towards his camera.  _ “They _ don’t know that.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. He turns a little bit, looking into the lens again, and clears his throat. “Okay. My name is Tyler, I’m gay, I’m thirty, I’m a Sagittarius, and I got my master’s in finance before giving it all up to pursue makeup. There. That’s about all there is to me.” He turns back to Josh, staring intently at his cheek, before choosing the shade that he thinks matches his skin tone the closest.

He’s wiping Josh’s cheek off with a makeup wipe when Josh starts talking to his camera. “Tyler is my boyfriend, as a lot of you have guessed, and as even  _ more _ of you have guessed, thanks to my little brother accidentally outing us on Instagram.”

A large swath of silence falls over them, since Tyler’s grabbing a makeup sponge and the correct foundation. It’s when he’s starting to apply the foundation to Josh’s face that Josh prompts him to speak again. “How did we meet, Tyler?”

“Well…” Tyler grabs Josh’s chin, manually tilting his head for him. “I sent you a message on Twitter. I believe that I asked you why you’re so thick, with two c’s, because I was under the assumption that you weren’t ever going to see it.  _ Obviously,”  _ he looks into the lens for a moment, “I was wrong, because a few hours later he messaged me back. I think that was in… What, March?”

Josh nods. “It was a bit after me and Deb broke up, yeah.”

“It… snowballed from there, I guess.” Tyler shrugs. “We messaged back and forth on Twitter for awhile, before I gave him my phone number. Can I ask you a question, Josh?”

“Shoot.” Josh closes his eyes when Tyler mumbles at him to do so.

“Okay. Why me?”

“Mm…” Josh clicks his tongue a bit, and Tyler pauses in dabbing foundation onto his face, for just a moment, before Josh continues. “I thought your message was funny, and when I didn’t see any screenshots pop up on your account… I don’t know. I thought that was cool. I  _ also  _ thought you were a girl, until I saw your Instagram.”

Tyler snorts. “I do possess the capacity to look like one on occasion, but I am indeed of the male gender of the human race.”

“I’m aware.” Josh tilts his head on his own, after Tyler mumbles at him again. “I’ve been seeing a lot of bullshit on Twitter lately.”

“Which bullshit? The bullshit about me using you for clout, or the bullshit about you… queerbaiting, as if your life is a TV show?” Tyler bites his cheek. “Or is it the bullshit where, on the rare occasion that we see each other in person, people like to sneak pictures of us?”

“All of that, really. I don’t know. I think it’s funny, for people to accuse you of using me for clout, when… I’m twenty six, dude. I think — I think I’m old enough, by now, to be able to tell whether or not you’re  _ using  _ me, y’know? Added… It’s been six months.”

“Yeah. I’m also an awful liar, and  _ way _ too old to be pulling that shit. Six months is a long time to be faking it for clout.”

“Exactly. I mean — if we don’t work out, then whatever, shit happens. The thing about the…  _ queerbaiting.  _ That’s funny to me. I haven’t ever come out, but… Why does everyone have to just assume that I’m straight? How come I can’t have any romantic interactions with men, without being labeled as an attention seeker? Many,  _ many  _ questions need to be asked.”

“Just — to give you guys a little background on me,” Tyler makes eye contact with the lens again, “I was in college for a collective eight years, and I was even married for nearly two of them — I’m packed to the brim with life experience. Just as you’d be able to tell by now whether or not I’m using you — I would’ve been able to tell if he were using  _ me  _ for anything other than, like, love, or whatever.”

“‘Love, or whatever.’ How romantic of you.” Josh grins with his teeth.

Tyler pecks him on the lips when his smile drops back down into a closed mouth one.

“As far as the pictures go…” Josh opens his eyes to give his camera a stern look. “If you think you’re being sneaky, you’re not. Both of us can see you, especially if you’re…” He grabs his phone, and holds it in an obvious way, as if he were taking a picture, mimicking a few of the people he’s seen. “Like,  _ c’mon.  _ It’s creepy.”

“I agree with you there, Joshua. Let’s… Move this back to more positive fields.” Tyler’s stretching towards his coffee table, reaching for a bottle of concealer. As he’s applying concealer onto Josh’s face — under his eyes, on his nose, forehead, Cupid’s bow, and over a few spots — he asks, “When did you decide that you were actually  _ serious  _ about me?”

“There were a few moments, honestly. The first one was when we met in person for the first time. I’ve never instantly  _ clicked  _ with someone like I did with you, so that was… That was special to me. Another one was when you came to visit me. I’ve never cried from making eye contact with someone before, but you managed to draw it out of me.”

Tyler grins.

“When you left to go home. I cried for three days, and I wish I was exaggerating. Another one was more recent. I showed up at his doorstep, and it felt like I was coming home. Sometimes I feel like we’re way too serious about each other.”

“I disagree. I think… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m a little older, but, I’m in a place in my life to where if I’m interested in someone, then… I’m going to pursue them, and I’m not going to give a good god damn whether or not someone else might think we’re moving too fast. There’s obviously a certain about of precaution that needs to be had, but… Whatever.”

“What about you?” Tyler’s using the makeup sponge to blend the concealer. Josh is giving him some sort of wistful puppy dog eyed look. “When did you decide that?”

“When we were still talking over text. You’re very eloquent and well spoken, and the way you spoke to me really just… Struck a chord with me, and I thought to myself,  _ ‘I’m going to kick myself if I don’t pursue this.’  _ Another moment was… The hotel room.” Tyler wiggles his eyebrows, and barely manages to hold it together, since Josh bursts out into a fit of giggles at that.

“Okay, yeah, that too. I don’t know. Every moment I’m with you, I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I’ve never — I’ve never  _ felt  _ that way before, y’know?”

Tyler nods. “I understand that. I thought I met the love of my life in high school, so I married her, only for us to divorce after two years and for me to finally find someone that I  _ have  _ something with at the age of thirty.”

“Something else I want to say before people start jumping to conclusions — just because I feel like you’re potentially endgame, doesn’t mean that, for even a second, I take any of my past relationships for granted.”

“I’ll cheers to that.” Tyler’s reaching for loose setting powder when he says that. “I feel the same way. Both of us have had significant relationships in the past, with people that we still love and care deeply for, and I think that for us to take our past for granted would be foolish. We  _ are _ who we are because of our experiences. Not to get too deep, but…” He shrugs again.

“Exactly.”

“Alright — hear me out…” Tyler’s patting setting powder onto his face. “Here’s the million dollar question — are you gay, Josh?”

Josh rolls his eyes under his eyelids. “Contrary to popular belief, I can be in a relationship with another man without being gay. I suppose I should discuss my sexuality, though…”

“Only if you’re comfortable, man.”

“I’m more than comfortable with it.”

They fall into silence again. Tyler’s reaching for an angled brush and an eyebrow pomade, while Josh picks at his thumbnail. Tyler can tell just from looking at him that he’s nervous, so he leans forward and catches him in a kiss. He lowers his tone — making it obvious that he’s speaking to Josh and  _ just  _ Josh. “If you’re not comfortable talking about it, or you want to pull the plug on all this, you’re allowed. Don’t feel pressured just because I’m sitting in here with you, alright?”

Josh kisses him back. “I’m okay.”

“Okay. Just checking.”

Josh’s demeanor changes — going from slightly withdrawn, as he reels himself in, back to smooth and confident. Tyler’s taking an eyebrow spoolie to his left eyebrow, combing it into a reasonable position, as Josh starts talking to his camera again. “I think it’s kind of weird, that I have to come out in the first place. I don’t like labeling myself anyways, so coming out… What do I come out as?”

“Not straight?”

“Yeah, but people like labels.”

“True.”

“I told my parents that I’m bi, since that was… easier to explain, I guess.” Josh holds still as Tyler’s dipping his angle brush into the pomade, and taking it to his left eyebrow. “Also, to my audience — you guys aren’t entitled to any information about my sexuality. I’m just sharing this because, one, y’all won’t leave me the fuck alone, and two, because I also feel as if I owe it to my non-straight, non-cis followers to actually  _ say  _ something, rather than leaving it up in the air.”

Tyler makes confident and bold strokes with the brush as Josh continues.

“I just know that, when I was younger, on the rare occasion that someone I looked up to would come out — that was always super important to me, because stuff like that ultimately gave me the courage to come out to my own friends and family, and I realize that I’m — I’m in a position to where… I might give someone else the courage to love and to accept themselves.

“So, in the simplest of terms — my heart isn’t picky. If I meet someone and I click with that person, their gender doesn’t come into the equation. How about you Tyler? I put my heart on my sleeve. It’s your turn now.”

“I like dick. Simple as that.”

Josh grabs his wrist, and leans back to give him a  _ look. _

Tyler rolls his eyes for nearly the millionth time. “Fine. Alright. Where do you want me to start?” He tugs his wrist free.

“When did you realize you’re gay?”

“A little before I turned twenty six.” Tyler flips his brush around, to the spoolie end of it, and starts combing Josh’s other eyebrow.

“Okay. What made you realize it?”

“Started going to therapy to deal with my mental health problems, since I had good insurance at the time, and… I realized that the feelings I have towards men were the feelings that I should’ve been having for my ex-wife. The guilt I felt from that realization was what was messing with my mental health, not to mention all the internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. What about you, bud? What made  _ you  _ realize you’re not straight?”

Josh juts his jaw a little bit, otherwise holding still, since Tyler starts filling his right eyebrow in. “I think… It’s hard to explain, because I’ve always sort of known…? As a child, I had crushes on pretty much anyone, and that just… extended into my adulthood. I probably realized it when I actually learned what straight  _ meant,  _ but… It’s just always been a part of myself, and I’ve never really wanted to label it, other than being mindful of the fact that, again… Not straight. I want to say that it doesn’t matter, but it does. It  _ shouldn’t  _ matter, but it does.”

Tyler nods. He grabs a different brush from his container of brushes, and squeezes a little bit of concealer onto the back of his hand, so he can touch Josh’s eyebrows up, making sure they’re at least mostly symmetrical. “I get where you’re coming from, in that I kind of agree that it shouldn’t matter. Maybe in the future it won't, but… I don’t know.”

“If me coming out helps even one person, then I think that’s important.”

“Another question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do we have to be secretive about being together, or am I allowed to gush about you on Twitter now?”

Josh rolls his eyes. “You’re allowed to gush about me on Twitter, now, yeah. At least as long as I can gush about you too.”

“You can gush about me as much as you want,” Tyler promises him.


End file.
